Everytime We Touch
by LarkroseLukos
Summary: Sequel to Bad Boy Skipper. When tragedy strikes the team, Marlene finds herself rising to the place of leader. Some hints of Skilene and Marski, but no actual romance is planned. Warning, sad character death and emotions to the extreme.
1. Forgive Me My Weakness

Disclaimer: I don't own POM or anything you recognize.

XXX

"Is he getting any better?" asked Marlene, her slim paws clutching Skipper's smooth flipper.

Kowalski shook his head grimly. A frown was etched in his face like carving in stone, his eyes were heavy from lack of sleep.

Private sobbed and buried his head in Marlene's fur. She patted his head softly, motherly instincts coming out.

Skipper's chest was as still as stone.

"I-is he breathing? Do something, Kowalski!" Private begged.

"I don't know what to do!" snapped the tall penguin. "DO I look like a medical professional?"

Private shrank back to Marlene's arms in fear. Kowalski groaned and put his head in flippers.

"Dead?" blathered Rico.

Marlene nodded and Private started sobbing again.

"I'm sorry Private." whispered Kowalski.

The small penguin didn't answer.

***

Marlene stayed at the HQ that night, mostly of her fear that her friends would do something rash in their grief.

Nobody slept that night. They retreated to their corners of the room.

Rico spent his time locked in the bathroom, hiding his face from anyone, unable to admit the weakness of crying.

Private stayed with Marlene at all times, crying at the mention of the word "skip".

Kowalski spent the night curled up in a fetal position under his workbench, mumbling to himself. Marlene was worried about him the most. He seemed to be taking Skipper's death hard.

Marlene grieved too, but not as much. She cried, yes, but not as long as Private. She knew she'd see Skipper again, and he wouldn't want her crying over him. She wasn't sure Private was religious, so she tried not to talk about "The Giant River In The Sky".

Soon morning came, and Marlene made Private an omelet. It was a bit burned, but the small penguin didn't seem to mind.

She cut up a second omelet into three other portions. Rico came to the table, but didn't eat anything.

Kowalski had fallen asleep around three, and was now awake. He had his back to Marlene.

The otter gently shook his shoulder. He turned around, eyes bloodshot and flippers shaking slightly.

"Come on," she coaxed slowly. "You need to eat."

The tall penguin nodded, his eyes focused on nothing.

"I guess I'll just… bring you your omelet." Marlene pushed the plate in front of Kowalski.

He poked at it carefully, and nibbled on the end a bit, then took the plate and turned away.

Marlene walked back over too Private. They ate in silence until Rico broke it.

"Quiet?" he asked.

Marlene wrinkled her brow, unable to understand what he wanted, but Private seemed to know.

"Yes, Rico. We're quiet." Then the small penguin's face wrinkled and he sniffed, holding back tears.

"Come on, you two. Eat up, you didn't have dinner last night." Marlene insisted, taking a quick glance at Kowalski, who still had his back to her. She made a mental note to talk to him later.

It was afternoon. Rico and Private played a game of Connect Four while Marlene, who was practically living there, washed off the plates and put them away.

"Kowalski?" she said, walking over to the tall penguin.

"Yes?" his voice was hoarse from silence.

"Are you okay?"

Kowalski turned around to face her. "No." he said. "But that's a weakness."

"Yes, it's a weakness. But you aren't going into battle right now, are you?"

The tall penguin furrowed his brow. "No."

"Do you want to talk… about Skipper?" Marlene voice was calm, though her grief was beginning to catch up with her. Her eyes shone with tears, and she blinked them away. She had to be strong if she wanted her friends to be strong.

Kowalski shook his head. "I just can't believe he's gone…" His eyes filled with tears, and we wiped them away. "I feel like there as something…. s-something I could have done. I let Manfredi's life slip away, and now… Sk- Sk…"

Marlene smoothed down the feathers on his flipper. "You don't have to say it."

Kowalski nodded and looked away for a moment. "How- how is Private doing?"

"He's doing fine." Marlene answered him.

"Oh." Kowalski pushed the plate from breakfast to her. There were only a couple of bites taken out of the omelet, which was now cold.

"You don't like my cooking?" Marlene said, her voice having a cold tone to it.

"No- no, I just didn't-"

"It's okay, you didn't have to eat it." Marlene's tone returned to it's consoling sound.

"Can you… leave, please?" Kowalski asked, his blue eyes searching in her body motions for some emotion of grief.

"Yes." Marlene patted him on the shoulder and left to wash the plate.

Kowalski put his face in his flippers and breathed in, overwhelmed by guilt.

"I'm so sorry Skipper…." he whispered. "I shouldn't have let you die… who am I kidding, I can't be a leader. I can't lead like you… why did you have too leave? It's all my fault…" Tears dripped down his slender face like rain, splashing onto the concrete ground below. "I can't be a replacement Skipper… tears are for weaklings, a weakling can't be a leader…"

Marlene watched as Rico won for the fourth time in a row.

"I'm bored, Marlene." Private's voice was unusually bratty.

"How about you guys go on a mission or something?" she asked. The penguins hadn't been their psychotic selves, even Rico refused to vomit up anything.

"We can't go on a mission without Ski…" Private's words turned to sobs.

"You need a leader? Rico, aren't you like a deputy?" Marlene asked, comforting Private.

The tough penguin shook his head and pointed at Kowalski, who was bent over under his workbench.

"Figures." Marlene whispered under her breath harshly. She handed Private a tissue box and walked over to Kowalski.

"So your leader now, huh?" She asked, joining him under the bench. The bench was actually quite tall, enough for her to sit down without bumping her head.

"I can't be a leader." Kowalski face was stained with tears, which he would never admit. "I can barely ask Private to follow Ski- orders."

"Skipper wanted you to lead."

"How do you know what Skipper wanted?" Kowalski lashed at her, suddenly angry. "You barely knew him! No one knew him better than me!" And with the anger came tears, like water tossed to a dying fire.

"Fine! If you don't want my help, then I don't care! Arggh…" Marlene yelled, quietly of course, she didn't want Private to hear.

Kowalski crossed his flippers, but he couldn't stay angry. "I'm sorry Marlene, I just… don't feel myself."

Marlene didn't want to forgive him so fast, but the expression on his face made her give in. "I don't blame you," she said, choosing her words carefully. "But can you at least come out from under this table?"

"It's a bench, and no." Kowalski's voice was stubborn.

Anger boiled up in Marlene. She was wasting her time, and Kowalski's weak stature that was normally strong and confident made her angry. Without thinking, her paw met his face in a slap.

Kowalski's eyes regained focus suddenly. He rubbed his face tenderly. "You just slapped me…" he whispered. "T-thanks… I needed that."

Marlene wanted to apologize, but she was on a roll. "That's what weaklings deserve." She snapped.

"Marlene, are you oka-" Kowalski started, but the otter crawled out from under the bench. Her blood was boiling with confidence, she held her head high and back straight.

"Up, you two!" she said. "Crying isn't going to defeat any ninjas! Where are those bowling pins, anyway?" Marlene couldn't understand this feeling, this wonderful feeling, of power, of haughty, of grace…

_Woah girl, don't get carried away. _She told herself, but the feeling overwhelmed her thoughts. She liked being in charge.

"Private, fetch the bowling pins." She snapped, and the small penguin ran to a the chest and dug through. "Right here!" he said, and Rico set them up.

"Attack! No mercy!"

Private looked at Marlene with a strange look but began to kick and chop.

"Kowalski!" she said, turning around. "Will you be joining us?"

A spark of determination flamed in the tall penguins eyes, like a dying ember had awoken.

"Ma'm, yes, Ma'm!" he saluted her and leaped into battle, accidentally slipping and knocking Private and Rico down. The three fell in a heap around the bowling pins, laughing.

And Marlene had to laugh along.

XXX

End of chapter one, note this is not a onefic. I hope you like this, I took a long time.

Here are the lyrics that go along with this chapter:

_I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me, _

_I still feel your touch in my dreams,_

_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why,_

_Without you it's hard to survive._

_-Every Time We Touch by Cascada._

Till next time,

~Lukos


	2. I Want This To Last

The feeling of confidence, of leadership, like all great things, is short lived. By nightfall Marlene was back to her normal self, still hints of haughty in her voice.

And soon after that Private was back to sobbing, their ninja battle bringing back memories of his leader.

And Kowalski and Rico "talked" quietly in the corner, until Rico climbed into his bunk. Private soon followed him to bed.

Marlene, yawning, walked to the bottom bunk. She was about to slip in and fall asleep when she realized Kowalski was glaring at her.

"What?" she asked.

"That was Skipper's bunk." His voice was cold, his mind set back on the path that it was yesterday.

"And…?"

"That was Skipper's bunk." Kowalski repeated calmly.

"So where do I sleep?" Marlene asked.

"You can have my bunk, I guess. I won't be sleeping tonight." The eeriness of his voice disturbed Marlene, despite her easygoing attitude.

"Kowalski, it wasn't your fault. I wish you'd just snap out of this- do I have to slap you again?" She threatened, confidence flooding her voice.

Kowalski cowered for a moment, intelligent eyes blazing with emotion.

"I'm s-sorry." he whispered. "I… ju-just…. just go to bed." He turned away and sat at his workbench, face so lonely it made Marlene want to comfort him, but his mind was somewhere else, somewhere in a land called Memory….

"_Kowalski, this is Skipper. He's going to be your captain and mentor." Schmitty said, a flipper on the young penguins shoulder. _

"_Hi!" Kowalski said._

_Skipper's face was nonchalant, as usual. "Do you think you have what it takes to be in the army?"_

"_I have a notepad." _

"_Can you watch your friends die before your eyes?"_

"_Sir yes sir!" Kowalski saluted._

"_Can you pledge your heart and soul to your mission, and nothing else?"_

"_Sir yes sir!" _

"I was wrong." whispered Kowalski, low so that dozing Marlene wouldn't hear. "I can't watch my friends die before my eyes…. I'm a weakling, I don't deserve this spot…"

"_Kowalski! What are you eating?" snapped Skipper. _

"_It's an amazing fruit flavored food… humans know it as candy." Kowalski said, stuffing a tootsie roll in his beak. _

"_That food messes with your mind. It makes you loony, hyper."_

"_WHATDIDYOUSAY?SAYSAYSAY SOUNDS LIKE SUGAR!" replied the private, eyes growing wide with energy, flippers moving frantically. _

Kowalski chuckled lightly, overwhelmed by the battling emotions of nostalgia and grief, happiness and pure terror, love and guilt.

He turned around to see if Marlene was watching him, and was happy to see she was asleep. He didn't like her watching him, it made him feel under pressure. He grabbed some of his tools and scraps of metal, inspired to create, burning on the energy of emotion. His body was deprived of sleep, food and water, but he didn't care. His flippers moved as quickly as if he was hyped up on sugar. His brain buzzed with the desire to create, to see a clutter of metal and plastic scraps becoming a shining, burning with life, creation, fully operational and useful and… and of course his own work, work that he would cherish more than anything. He didn't know what he was making, but something told him to screw in that screw, to nail down that piece, to create, to invent, to be inspired, to finish… no, he didn't want to finish. He wanted this feeling to last forever…. just him, the darkness, and his tools… a symphony of perfection, a chorus of pure brilliance, a desire to build… build, create… that was what his mind ran on.

Marlene peaked open a hazel eye, smiling. She watched Kowalski nail down a piece of metal on a piece of wood, his flippers working like something else was controlling them, his beak bit down on his tongue in concentration- she had to smile, happy he was being productive. If inventing was his last thread of sanity, so be it. If it got his mind off Skipper, so be it. If it made him feel closer to his late leader, than so be it.

She wished to join him there, everything was happening to fast, she wished that she could be him, for that tiny second of eternity, just her and him and tools, creating… not a care in the world… what would she give for that tiny moment, that precious moment of not caring about anything, just letting her mind and emotions guide her paws… then she shook her head.

_Don't fill your head with crazy thoughts, girl. _A scolding voice in her head told her. _Just go to sleep. _

But she had to open her eyes one more time to see Kowalski working furiously before she closed her eyes… and she was rushed to near sleep, like her body knew exactly what it needed, just like Kowalski's knew what it needed to do to create- and there she was, her mind wandering back to the penguins. Heck, she was sleeping in their house, cooking them breakfast, and basically keeping them on the edge of sanity. Why shouldn't she feel like one of them?

But something made her feel like an overworked babysitter, an anxiety ridden foster mother, a nanny that works overtime. And her grief caught up with her and she sobbed, thinking of Skipper.

Kowalski must have heard her, for he turned around, deep eyes losing their crazed fire, searching for the source of the noise.

"Private?" his voice was sharp with feeling, like a freshly polished blade that was once rusty.

Marlene didn't say anything, scolding herself for disturbing him and for showing weakness- now she was thinking like a penguin. She yearned for that confident fire to blaze through her blood once more, lighting her desires and voicing her dreams, and it was only her and her boys, her team, her friends, her brothers in arms... She shook her head, trying to shake out these foolish desires, even though they made her feel closer to Skipper than ever.

Kowalski turned away now, and he slid his tools back into their resting place. He couldn't go to sleep, he didn't dare sleep in Skipper's bunk, that was a bunk for leaders… not for nerdy, useless weaklings…

XXX

Oh wow. I wrote this at like, midnight, but it turned out pretty nice. This was loaded with description and emotion. There might have been some faint Marski, but I'll let you be the judge of that. I loved describing Kowalski inventing- describing his manic desire to pour out his emotions through creation was quite fun to write.

I better get to bed,

~Lukos


	3. The Good And The Bad Times

The next day it was Skipper's funeral. Rico, Kowalski and Private carried the casket, though Marlene had to step in and help when Private's grip grew weak. They lowered the coffin into the ground (which was actually a patch of grass behind the possum habitat) as Marcela the hyena and Minerva the wolf sang a sad duet and Maurice played a violin very badly.

_The good and the bad times, we've been through them all, _

_You make me rise when I fall_

Private broke down in tears and hugged Marlene, who couldn't help crying too. And some say even Rico shed a tear (though he will never, ever admit it).

And Kowalski didn't cry, he just watched with a frozen expression on his face, a look that was full of both terror and nonchalant, his eyes like slits.

And in a moment of silence, all the zoo animals left. Marcela and Minerva were the last to leave, finishing their sad song.

Marlene placed a rose on the burial site, and Private placed a fresh fish on the dirt and stepped away. Rico and Kowalski saluted in unison, and slowly, carefully, reluctantly, the four walked away.

When they reached the HQ, Marlene made Private a fish waffle, even though he didn't eat it, just poked at it and sniffed.

Kowalski retreated to his workbench, his flippers no longer full of the manic energy Marlene had seen him possessed with last night. His eyes grew heavy, and he collapsed onto the table in a restless sleep.

Marlene decided not to disturb him, he hadn't slept in three days. She turned back to Private, who was crying again, so much that his waffle had more tears in it that syrup.

"There there." she said, giving the small penguin a hug. "Everything is going to be okay."

"But Skippah is gone!" Private sobbed, gripping her tighter. "Skippah is d-de-de-"

"Shh…" Marlene said, her voice comforting and calm. "Didn't anyone ever tell you about the river in the sky?"

Private looked up. "W-hat's that?"

"It's a place where all good animals go when they die. And you'll see Skipper, someday, but right now he doesn't care, because he's eating all the fish he wants and swimming in crystal water… and you'll join him someday, but not now."

Private wiped his eyes. "Really?"

"Truly."

"Do Rico and- sniff- Kowalski know about the river?"

"I don't know. But you needn't worry about them. They're fine."

Private glanced at Rico, who was curled up in the corner, stroking an unlit stick of dynamite, and Kowalski, who was snoring, his head in a pile of metal scraps.

"Never mind them. Do you like your waffle?" Marlene asked, studying the food, her nose wrinkling at the smell of fish.

"It's good, but I'm not hungry. Ski- ski…. he loved fish."

"All penguins like fish."

"But Ski- skip…" Private's eyes turned wet again.

_Not again. _Groaned Marlene.

"How about you take a nap? Sleep always makes everything better." Marlene said.

"Okay." Private yawned at the mention of sleep and climbed into his bunk. "Will you wake me up in three hours?" he asked.

"Okay. Now go to sleep." Marlene tucked him in and jumped off the ladder, landing on her paws like a cat. She went to the mirror to take a look at herself.

"What?" Her fur was messy and she had a couple white feathers stuck on her foot. Her entire body smelled of fish and she looked tired and overworked.

_I need a bath. _She thought. All of the penguins were sleeping, now would be the perfect time to unwind.

She filled a bath with warm water and bath beads, and sank into the water slowly, her fur smoothing down and nose filling with the smell of roses.

"This is how life should be." she said, grinning and closing her eyes, senses dull with calm.

Kowalski cracked open an eye. He raised his head, metal scraps fall of it. He rubbed the side of his face, which was sore from lying on wood, and looked around. Rico was in the corner, sleeping with a stick of dynamite next to him and his doll on the other side. Private was napping in his bunk, chest rising and falling with rhythmic breaths.

There were hammers and screwdrivers in front of him. His still groggy mind yearned for that blaze of confidence that Skipper had, that great feeling of giving orders, always knowing what to do… why didn't he have that?

"_This plane is going down, sir. We'll have to jump." A teenage Kowalski said, his notepad clutched in hand._

"_It was nice knowing you, Walksi." his captain answered. _

"_It was an honor to serve beside you." Kowalski saluted Skipper, his face not revealing the pounding terror in his mind. He opened the door to the plane, wind blowing his feathers flat. Then he felt a strong flipper- Skipper's, of course- push him down, and he fell, body straightening into a dive…. it was the most amazing feeling, him… the sky, the wind and the trees below- like little sticks of celery they swayed in the breeze, as if waving to him. Everything was perfect- until he hit the ground. _

"_Guys, look! I found a penguin!" A man's voice said. _

"_Mike, don't mess with us."_

"_Look!" _

_When Kowalski opened his eyes he was in a cage, in a dark truck. Where was he going? He didn't know, but he saw a familiar pair of ice-cold eyes in the dark. _

"_Skipper!" he said, waving a bruised flipper. _

"_Kowalski." Skipper's voice was hoarse and tinged with coldness. "You let us get captured."_

"_Yes, but- Yes, yes I did, but we can always escape."_

_Then another penguin blathered something. This was Kowalski first glimpse of Rico. The penguin was well built, with a strong, steady stature and short legs. He was only a little shorter than Kowalski. _

"_Rico!" he introduced himself. "You?"_

"_I'm Kowalski and this is-"_

_Skipper cut him off. "Skipper." he said. "Leader of the military."_

_Rico vomited up a stick of dynamite. "Army?" he asked. _

_Skipper nodded. _

The sound of claws on stone snapped Kowalski out of his daydream. He turned around to see Marlene, her fur black with water, the top of her head with a towel on it, humming a soft tune to herself.

"Hi Kowalski." she said, voice flooding with calm. "I just had the best bath of my entire life." She collapsed down onto the couch, sighing.

Kowalski jumped from his chair at the sound of someone banging on the door. He opened it to find Marcela, tears streaming from her eyes and haunches raised in defense. She leaped past him into the HQ, teeth bared.

"Woah, slow down, Marcy. What's wrong?" Marlene asked.

"Do you have my son?" growled the hyena, turning on Marlene.

"Uh, can you please tell us what's going on?" Kowalski asked nervously, hints of doubt in both his voice and his body language.

"Okay." Marcela sat down, her flanks rising in quick pants. "I left Mheetu for a minute to get him some food, and he- when I turned around, he was gone! And I've searched all over the zoo… I don't know where he is!"

Marlene glanced at Kowalski. Everyone knew Marcela was so protective of her son because her mate had been shot by a hunter. Everyone knew that the hyena was a bit crazy.

"Now, calm down. He can't have gone far." Kowalski said, voice shaking.

_What was Skipper thinking, appointing him second in command? _Thought Marlene. _He can barely stand up for himself, let alone lead. Looks like I'm going to have to step in again… sigh…_

"I'm sure he's fine, Marcy. But if you want, we could help you look. Kowalski, wake Rico and Private."

The tall penguin nodded, happy to be given orders, and shook his comrades awake.

***

"He's not in the park." Marlene sighed. Marcela glared at her.

They were in the park, hiding under a bench. They had searched the entire zoo, including underground. Then a silver truck went by. They heard the sound of barking inside.

"That's Mheetu!" Marcela leaped to her feet, powerful legs stretching into a gallop. "Mheetu!" she howled. The truck took a turn and sped off.

"He's in there." Marcela said.

Rico raised an eyebrow, and everyone looked at Marlene.

"What?" she said.

"You're leader." Kowalski said. "What do we do?"

His pathetic expression sent anger boiling down Marlene's spine, but she swallowed it.

"Let's follow that truck. Guys, get your car."

***

"Woohoo!" yelled Marcela, perched on the edge of the car. They moved through traffic quick as lightning. Rico, as usual, was driving, with Kowalski in the seat next to him and Marlene and Private in the back. It was a tight squeeze with Marcela there, but the wind rushing in their face made it worthwhile.

They located the truck, which was just turning a left, and Rico made a sharp turn to the right side of it, hiding the car from the humans on the street.

They followed the car till it parked in the driveway of a small house. A man stepped out, he was wearing an orange jacket and a black t-shirt and long jeans that were a bit too big for him. He was wearing tough gloves. He opened up the back of his truck and pulled out a squirming hyena cub.

"Mheetu!" Kowalski and Rico had to hold Marcela back (which was very hard) so that she didn't give away their position.

"Okay, we'll infiltrate the house. Kowalski, options!" snapped Marlene.

"I suggest that we use the doggy door." Kowalski said, though his calculations were slower with lack of a clipboard.

The man (who Marlene decided to call Orange) went inside his house, closing the door behind him.

"In men! In!" Marlene said, running to keep up as the penguins belly slid. They gingerly approached the doggy door and slipped through. Marlene tried to stop, but skidded and hit into the wall. With a groan, the world turned black.

"Where's Marlene?" asked Private. They slid back out.

"Marlene!" Kowalski exclaimed, running to the otter's side. She was breathing, thank goodness, but she was unconscious and possibly had a concussion.

"What are we going to do?" Private asked.

"I d-don't know…" Kowalski stammered. He gathered his thoughts together, nervous and overwhelmed. Why couldn't he have that confidence and can-do attitude that Skipper had?

"Uh…" Then an idea came to him. "Rico, drive Marlene and- and- and bring Marcela. Private, come with me."

Rico cocked his head but picked up Marlene, and reluctantly Marcela followed, looking over her shoulder at Kowalski.

"I trust you to bring back my son," she said with true respect in her voice. "But if you don't, you'll be sorry."

Kowalski nodded, still wondering if he had made a good decision.

"Please be all right, Marlene." he whispered to the breeze. "I don't want you added to the list of lives I've failed."

XXX

This took me about three hours to type, so you better like it. Please review, it's not to hard. Just press the button and tell me how I'm doing.

Lyrics for this chapter:

_Tears of pain, tears of joy,_

_One thing nothing can destroy,_

_Is are pride, deep inside, _

_We are one_

_-We Are One, Lion King 2_

And:

_Time is racing towards us,_

_Till the huns arrive_

_Heed my every order and you might survive_

_You're unsuited for the rage of war_

_So pack up, go home, you're through_

_How could I make a man out of you?_

_-I'll Make A Man Out Of You, Mulan_

Till next chapter,

~Lukos


End file.
